100daysoff

Jeff Astrof has 100 days off. See how he spends them.

Day 21

with 6 comments


It’s 11:15 on Saturday night.  I am exhausted and I may have a hernia.  If you had come from the future to show me this post when I was 20 I probably would have ended it right there, but alas, you didn’t, so here I am.

Last night we had two friends stay over; I’ll call them Dave K and Dave K.  They are both extremely sweet, charming, way too nice guys.  Dave K happens to be exceptional: handsome, funny, charming, does magic tricks, gave away a kidney and I’m sure my kids love him more than they love me.  Ordinarily that would bother me, but instead, it kind of takes the pressure off.  I’m learning that being a good dad is not always about being liked– it’s just about being liked more than their mom.  (Actually, that almost never happens, and it certainly doesn’t happen when I’m home from work).  Besides, even though Dave K can make the kids laugh and pull balled up napkins out of their ears and make it look like he’s removing his thumb, he’s not there for the important things: like giving my kids crushing disappointments.  This morning, that one was all me.

My daughter bounded it to show me that she lost the tooth that had been grossly dangling by that weird tooth thread for too many days.  She washed it off and wanted to show it to me.  And even though I’m grossed out by things like freshly fallen baby teeth, I held out my hand, half-asleep to inspect it.  What happened next was the subject of tearful debate.  I contend that the tooth never found my hand when she dropped it, she contends that I grabbed it and dropped it.  In either case, it dropped onto the white sheets, then onto the white rug, then into the parallel dimension where half the things that I lose in my room go to.  Our family therapist says I should try to empathize with my children while not giving them too much power yet not be too controlling.  I have no idea how to use that information and I also have no idea where the hell that tooth went.

Anyway, I was going to use this space to talk about the time we made the choice to tell my daughter the tooth fairy was not real– guess how that went!– but I’m really too tired.  Yep, it’s 11:30 on a Saturday night and I’m ready for bed.  Take that 20 year old Jeff!  Tomorrow promises to be a grueling day: two birthday parties, a kiddie concert, a double header at little league followed by the pine wood derby at Cub Scouts.  All this with what might be a hernia.  Where’s Dave K when I need him?

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Written by 100daysoff

March 6, 2011 at 7:36 am

Posted in Uncategorized

6 Responses

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  1. There’s no tooth fairy? I’m crushed.

    John Dunlea

    March 6, 2011 at 2:36 pm

  2. John-don’t be, there are other kinds of fairies.

    Shawni

    March 7, 2011 at 5:53 am

  3. Really loved the entire Shabbat. Thanks again, guys.

    Signed,

    Unexceptional Dave

    David Kantor

    March 7, 2011 at 8:04 pm

  4. Ha ha! It wasn’t you I was talking about. You’re phenomenal: that story about Mrs. Fields and the other one about something else… slayed me.

    100daysoff

    March 7, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    • You’re too quick on the draw! I don’t even get to enjoy my witty repartee.

      Love it.

      Have a great week.

      David Kantor

      March 7, 2011 at 8:14 pm

  5. @Shawni hahahah “other kinds of fairies!” I was sure that was Jeff’s line!
    @UnDave, when you bring wine so cheap it literally devalues the bottle it’s in, then you too can be considered exceptional.
    @Jeff, comedic lockjaw. you are the rabid pitbull of funny friends.

    David Kopp

    March 8, 2011 at 12:34 am


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