What could be better than taking the family to Legoland on President’s Day Weekend? Answer: ANYTHING. What a dumb move. To be fair, Legoland was my idea. Well, not the park, I never could have conceived of charging a family of four $250 to go on a bunch of lame-ass rides made of Legos in my wildest dreams. But I figured since we were in Orange County already we might as well stop by. I’m constantly compelled to do things I wish my dad had done with me, not realizing that I’m just not really wired that way to be a fun-loving unflappable dad. In fact, I’m extremely flappable. I now have newfound respect for my father for not taking me to theme parks as a kid: he was just being honest with himself about his own limitations.
Anyway, in the three plus hours we were there we went on five “rides”. I know they were rides because each sign said, “90 Minute wait time for this ride.” Otherwise, these “rides” were just five minute bumpers between waiting on lines to go on other “rides”. Made of Legos. $250. The best part of the day was that I got to overhear other fathers who made the same mistake I did yell at their kids about things like keeping their shoes on and saying things like “I don’t know why the damn line for the damn sky cruiser is so long. IT JUST IS!” Aside from that, this day was really about giving my kids a memory about the time dad wasn’t honest with himself. (Another small perk is that we got a picture of our family going on some lame “roller coaster” made of legos and both Shawni and I looked good so we bought it. Kids were making goofy faces, but anymore it’s about the parents not being embarrassed by how we look).
Speaking of kids, I realized late last night that the 11 year old I got into a fight with earlier in the day because he was riding the escalator in a dangerous/obnoxious way was probably somewhere on the spectrum of having a social disorder. I tried to pass off his behavior as the result of him having a father who wore two earrings (one on each ear, late 30’s, come on, dude), but Shawni doesn’t thing that was the reason. I should probably give money to a charity tomorrow.
Anyway, that’s really all. I’m exhausted– maybe the tiredest I’ve ever been. I actually fell asleep for two minutes on the drive home and when I awoke I asked Shawni if she would drive. Now that I’m back home I really need to focus on accomplishing tasks. My days are already quickly being eaten up by hiking dogs, shopping and running errands. Throw in lunch and a trip to the Coffee Bean and it’s time to write in my journal already. I don’t see tomorrow being a productive day: the kids are off from school (the only reason they won’t get sick tomorrow after a long weekend of not sleeping is because tomorrow is not a school day) which means it will be a lot of babysitting. Tomorrow is also the day for parent-teacher conferences and since Shawni has to take my son somewhere in the afternoon, I will have to do the conferences myself. SPOILER ALERT: It will not go well. Another one of my limitations is dealing with anything having to do with my kids’ educations.